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November 08, 2002 i hate this layout. i'm working on a new one. except dreamweaver is out to get me, big time, and i'm too lazy nor have the knowledge to do pure-html coding. if only i could remember back to my previous entries, surely ya'll would remember a soul reaver layout... and my very first entry when i tried to use frames, to no avail. anyway, on to more news. a mate troubles me... i'm not sure what to do or what to say, but well, i'm sure its nothing. i mean, it struck me last night that he was genuine when he said he didnt want to come out... and for the past nights too... but, well... he seems so distant lately. i'm thinking its something to do/that happened on his holiday.. or something else, although as i say, its probably nothing. i've got this funny sense of caring for my mates, and i'd like to think i can be there if they need anything... but lately everything is just completely eluding me, and i don't like it. its, well... i'm not sure. if i had a wider vocab i may be able to describe what it is thats happening, or again, it could be nothing and my petty little brain is trying to find patterns in things that arn't there. ironic, really... the one mate i thought i was close to, actually got on with (at least i think so, from my point of view) turns out to be the most distant of them all. moving slightly along, i went the pub last night, and was greeted, an hour after entering, by my dad. i must of gone bright red, as he asked my mates what they were drinking and bought us all a drink. ok, it was nice of him to do that, but it was just when i was about to light up as well. he didn't go till just before i myself was going (at around 12 midnight) and he was still outside waiting for a taxi when i left. now, it isn't far, and i walked home. thats life, i suppose. thats life... such a defeatest statement if ever i heard one, eh? it seems that we accept what we don't want to accept, even if it means disaster. stange, don't you think? |
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