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June 16, 2004 I realise it's been a long time since I last updated.. but here with a new spout of anger/sorrow is your host: me. I can't think of anyway other way to say this, so I'll just say whats been going on over and over in my head... Even my closest friends make it seem like it's a chore to speak to me... alls I want is some attention, yaknow? Someone to say "aww lee" or "ah well, shit happens"... But no-one does. Everyone compares their life to my own.. like recently I've been working alot of hours, and a 'friend' said to me that I shouldn't come to her for pity.. Well, I wasn't going to her for pity, I was phoning her because she was a friend. I'm sure thats not how it ment to sound at all, but still.. even if it was phoning for pity... is it still wrong to expect her to say "aww, it's alright"? I just want to be recognised, yaknow? When someone asks if I'm alright, I want to really say "no, not really - i'm rather shit" but no, I don't people to give me attention purely because I've purposely asked for it (even though it doesn't seem like that)... instead I just say "yeah, not bad". Trouble is, I don't know what I really want from life... Guess I'm just missing my best mate, ah well.. shit happens, eh? |
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