.::The End of the Beginning::.

Everything else I answered perfectly. I hope. I know I'm good at computers (granted I get big-headed most of the time, and pretend I know everything, when, in fact, I don't) but those questions were easy!

It'll probably be the only subject I do pass, at least, with a fairly decent grade.

Sociology tomorrow. Bored now.

I hate life, I am getting bored of living. The same old routine day in, day out. When will it end? When will education stop and I'll be able to relax somewhat?

When will.... *sigh*

Its ironic, isn't it?

I try help people with their love-life, and I don't even have one myself.

Who would want me? (I don't want anyone to say 'oh me!' because I don't want that, not now anyway).

More importantly, why would anyone want me?

Why would anyone take me by the hand, and walk down the street with me? Why would they want to cling and hug me?

Is this all an illusion? Is that love? Am I trapped in some fairytale land, or something that isn't reality?

I fear that I will wake up one day, and reality will come crashing down upon me.

I'm wolloing in self-pity now. Always a nice thing.

Makes you see what you don't have.

You want things, don't you? You see them in the shops or on the net, or someplace else. You want it sooo badly it hurts, yet you know you cannot have it.

Why is this? This isn't life, life isn't bliss, its cruel and un-predictable. It dangles your most desired of things just above your reach, and you cannot reach it.

You try, and try, and try. You jump up and higher, hoping just to touch it, just to seize it, for one, breif moment.... yet you can't.

The pain grows, the torment returns. Your last ditch in a hope of gaining your wants are gone, and you sit there, and you feel lost.

You feel empty, and drained, clinging to someone, anyone for comfort. And it hurts more.

Cruel, isn't it?

You want to feel wanted, so you crawl and dive into someones shoulders, yet it makes you more empty, less in-touch with reality.

You cry. You don't want to feel like this. You want the pain and the emptyness to go away, you want things to be the way they were. You want the whole world to stop, to freeze for one moment. To admire what you have, yet you walk around and around, looking for answers, trying to see if this frozen-time does help, hoping that it will give you a glimpse of why things are this way.

And you can't.

Your most precious desires go splat in your face.

Then time returns, reality is restored, and things continue.

You realise, with your teary eyes that no matter what has happened, time does go on. Things will continiue. Your desires are one step closer to becoming true, just that little higher....

... and your there.

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